Ladies and the truth!
Why is it so difficult to say the truth?
There are friends who confided to me that, when they entered an intimate relationship, they felt extremely happy because they could do something nice for their partners, then came a time when they didn’t really want to do but still did anyway, then sometimes they didn’t want to do but were forced to do, then sometimes they didn’t want to do anything, but the other person also wanted another thing, so they just accepted to let things go smoothly without arguments.
I used to be like that too. I’m also a lady and I was taught that ladies were supposed to give in a little, put ourselves down a little, this, and that.
That’s not wrong, but not complete. What about our own selves?
Four years in a long-distance relationship, with about only 3 months physically being with the person I loved, taught me something: Communication was crucial. And the most important thing in communication is to speak the truth.
I consider the truth in an intimate relationship as the number one prerequisite that I hold myself committed. I don’t see love as something magically happens - like luck - I consider it as a construct, and its foundation is truth and honesty. Thus, all shared activities like housework, cooking and cleaning, to sharing our interests, dreams, goals, purpose, we both tell each other and write all down. That’s the most fundamental block to build our trust, to understand and respect.
What about emotions? Ladies tend to hide our emotions inside, and assume to ourselves that the men can’t understand them. But my dear ladies, we must speak out to let them understand. Just like us, they are not free to guess what we are thinking, what we are angry about.
Learn to love and respect yourself enough to share it out, to realize that we must learn from the negative emotions, from the stumbles and falls, some lessons so that they can be released from our mind. Love yourself enough to be emotionally independent, so we can let go without dumping the emotional trash onto others. Love ourselves enough to realize we can absolutely make our own decisions for our own journey, no matter if there is any man beside us or not. If there’s one, he can be proud of his girlfriend, his partner.
A lady who is truthful to herself, knows how to love herself, will know how to understand and love others fully, spread that love to many others. What you will receive from that act will surprise you.
Aren’t we all a miracle of life?
This March 8th - International Women’s Day - we spent time together, had dinner, wandered around, and he took me to buy our first pair of couple wear after 5 years together. Happiness is that simple! And I love him because of that simple loveliness!