Connect with ourselves
All of us need to learn how to value and love ourselves, and the basic needs of love and connection should be fulfilled during our childhood. But many grow up without these basic needs being met. This loss of connection since early childhood can lead to serious physical and psychological consequences even beyond imagination.
This lack of love and connection during childhood can cause unhealthy desire in adulthood. Unfortunately, to fill this void, many people try to seek connection from others instead of themselves. This may lead to many personal and relational issues.
1. Attain inner fulfillment
When we fail to connect with ourselves - from who we are to what we feel - and when we fail to experience love from spiritual connection, we create emotional black holes. With the tendency of self-rejection, they become the emotional vacuum, trying to draw love and compassion from others. But this desire tends to push others away; we even end up feeling more rejected than before.
When we start to take responsibility for our own peace, we start to open up to learn how to love ourselves. We open the door of connection to the infinite love. We learn to internalize that love and share it with others to achieve deeper inner fulfillment.
2. Spread love
If we abandon ourselves by refusing to connect with ourselves and refusing to take the responsibility for our own emotions, we will attract people with the same behaviors. Everyone in a relationship always wants the partner to fill our emotional black holes. They may be able to do that, but only for a short while, because sooner or later, they will feel that their love and effort are not reciprocated, leading to breakups. We cannot keep on pouring to others' black holes forever.
We can only connect deeply with others once we connect with ourselves. Sharing love with others, those who have abundance of love and also share love, is the best experience to have a fulfilling and enjoyable life. Don't be too calculated when giving and receiving love.
3. Gain happiness and enjoyment
Depression is a serious problem. One of the most prominent reasons for it is self-abandonment. Just like a child feeling disappointed when it cannot connect with its parents, who are always busy, our inner child similarly - that's our emotional self - is also disappointed when we refuse to connect with our own feelings, refuse to love and take responsibility for them.
Another reason for this depression is social isolation. It results in loneliness, the common consequence of not being able to connect with ourselves from inside, and then not being able to connect with others.
4. Maintain physical health
Stress is a common cause of many diseases. We usually hurt ourselves as a way to manage pains. Self-abandonment is the cause of worries and stresses, they activate our flight-or-fight response, and affect our immune system negatively.
People who live in community with deep connection are much healthier than people living in isolation. They laugh more frequently, share more, live more peacefully, and let go more easily. Most importantly, they have a better spirit. Connecting with ourselves and others is a crucial condition for good physical health.
5. Create compassion
When we learn how to feel our pains, manage them with forgiveness, learn from them, and then let them go, we can start to relate to the humanity within us. Having the ability to manage our pains helps us avoid self-destructive behaviors. This helps to prevent harmful and destructive acts toward others. When we can connect with and feel the compassion for our own emotions, we can experience love from others.
6. Activate passion and creativity
Passion and creativity are developed significantly through our connection with emotions and spiritual guidance. When we disconnect with our emotions to prevent us from feeling the pains, we also extinguish our excitement, creativity, and passion. Life becomes pointness, boring, and monotonous. Love and joy exist in the same emotional space as with loneliness and heartbreak. When we close our doors, trying not to experience loneliness and pains, we also close the possibility of love and joy. What a terrible way to live!
You don't have to force yourself to live this way, or another way, you can learn how to connect with yourselves. You can learn to change your intention, from outside - trying to find love and connection from others - to inside - truly loving yourself and others. You can learn to change from avoiding to experiencing the feeling of pain to understand and embrace it, to listen to what it tries to tell us. You can learn how to love yourself and care for yourself, and then experience the deepest joy of sharing that love with others.